


Dim Light

by SadieandJack



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27524911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack
Summary: After Play With Fire...Sara asks Grissom out and of course he says no, but he sees that she does need help. His inner feelings are uncontrollable and it is getting worse.
Relationships: Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle





	Dim Light

Brass pulled me out the door of the house angry. I ran in ahead of him and his men to catch the man that we were going to arrest.

"What are you doing in there?!" He asked

"I was trying to stop that guy!" I said

He sighed holding out his hand.

"Give me your gun!" He said

"What?!"

"Gun now!"

I looked at him then I slowly took my gun out of its case and handed it to him. He took it walking away. I watched him go then I walked back to the Tahoe.

Grissom sat on his desk looking at a card when I knocked. He glanced at me as he got his things.

"Hey." I said

"How did your shift go?" He asked

"We got the guy."

"Is that all you have to say."

"You talked to Brass?"

"Yes, I did."

He gave me a look as he stood walking over.

"Do you want to go to dinner with me?"

"What?" He asked

"Just to eat."

He opened his mouth slowly shaking his head.

"No."

"Come on, let's just see what happens."

"Sara…..I don't know what to do about this."

I looked sadly at him.

"You know when you figure it out, it could be to late."

He watched me sadly walk away leaving him. I walked out of the building looking up at the stars above. Grissom came out looking at me as I quickly walked to my car. When I got home I walked to my apartment. Once inside I sat down against the door feeling lost.

The next shift I walked down to Brass's office seeing Grissom and him sitting in the office. They both looked over at me as I knocked coming in. Brass sat back in his seat as Grissom stood.

"Sara, you can't be here." Grissom said "As of this moment you are on suspension."

"Grissom."

"Go home."

I looked at Brass then I walked out slamming the door. Grissom came out following me.

"Sara."

I turned in the hallway looking at him.

"Grissom, this is crap! I did nothing wrong!"

"Sara, you went into a house before the police!"

I sighed looking down.

"Go home." He said, in a low voice.

I looked at him then I looked down.

"Grissom, I won't do anything else. Let me stay."

"You know the rules."

He turned and started walking away turning glancing at me.

"Sara, go now." He said

I shook my head looking at him.

"No, I can't."

He walked back over seeing a tear go down my face.

"I can't go."

He sighed taking my arm leading me away to his office. He closed the door looking at me.

"Sara…."

"You make me go home and I will do something." I said, backing up.

"What does that mean?" He asked, walking over.

I started to shake and he started getting concerned.

"I….will do something to myself."

"You mean hurt yourself?"

"Yes."

He looked me over then led me to the couch. He sat down touching my shaking hands on my lap.

"Sara, this is serious. You can't do that."

"Why not? You don't care about me."

"Is that really what you think?" He asked

"Yes." I said

He silently looked down at the floor then at me.

"Sara, if I didn't care about you then I would not be here. I do care about you and I would hate to see anything happen to you."

I wiped a tear with my hand.

"Please don't hurt yourself. I can call the counselor here and she can talk to you."

I got up glaring at him.

"I don't want to talk to a counselor!"

"Sara, please." He said, standing.

"I don't need anyone!" I said, going to the door. He quickly blocked my path.

"I can't let you leave. Not while you are in this state of mind."

"Get out of my way!" I said

"No, Sara." He said, before coming over pulling me against him as his arms went around me. I sniffed against his shoulder looking at the door.

He somehow got us on the couch holding me against him.

"Talk to me." He said

I took a breath feeling my heartbeat race.

"When…I was sitting on the curb I was alone and lost. You came over and touched my arm and called me honey. I felt like I was floating because you called me that."

"I was scared for you. I was scared about everything."

"When you rejected me then I felt lost again. Where do I fit in now?"

"Sara, you fit in here."

"Not anymore. I actually never did fit in."

"I think you do. You are a great CSI and everyone likes you."

I stayed silent looking at the floor. He put his hand through my hair. I moved sitting up feeling his hands fall to the couch.

"I better go home."

"Sara, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, standing. "I need to go home and think."

"I can drive you."

"No, you stay." I said, watching him stand.

He walked over holding the door shut.

"You're not going to do anything, are you?"

"No." I said

He searched my eyes a moment.

"I want to take you home."

"Why?"

"Because I don't trust you."

I opened my mouth as he took his phone and keys from his pocket leading me out. He made me come with him after he called Catherine. We went to my place and then he followed me to my apartment silently. I kept expecting him to stop and then go back to his car, but he never did.

I faced him outside my door watching him motion me to go inside. I opened the door turning on some lights hearing him come in and close the door.

"So how much should I tip you?" I asked

"For what?" He asked

"If you are babysitting me then you should get some money."

"Sara, stop it."

I looked down hearing him come over.

"Let's sit on the couch and order food then we can talk."

We sat on the couch. I let him chose the food since I was not very hungry. A movie on the TV entertained us until the food arrived then we ate. I watched him finish, before helping to clean it up. We once again sat on the couch. Grissom turned off the TV looking at me. I avoided his gaze.

"You can come here."

"That's okay." I said

"Want to talk?"

"Not really."

He nodded looking around.

"I'm not going to do anything if you want to leave."

"I don't want to leave."

I sighed moving on the couch. He watched me move around before reaching over touching my arm pulling me over against him. I laid my head on his chest as he rubbed my arm.

"Sara, I would be very upset if you did something to hurt yourself."

"I don't want to talk." I said

"Then let me talk. You and I have a connection. We have from the beginning. There is something about you."

He heard my breathing change which meant I was asleep. He touched my hair laying his head against mine.

"I love you." He whispered

He closed his eyes moving his lips against my head. I moved my head some grabbing his shirt.

"Grissom?" I said, weakly. "Are you still there?"

"Yes, I'm not leaving." He said

I stilled sleeping again as he breathed in and out looking at the wall across from us. The next day I moved on the couch feeling a blanket over me. Opening my eyes I saw that I was alone. Grissom walked in from the bathroom seeing that I was awake.

"Hey." I said, sitting up.

"Hey, you slept a long time." He said

"What time is it?"

"About two." He said

I rubbed my eyes noticing he was looking at curiously.

"Sara, I need to go work. Will you be okay?"

I nodded looking around.

"Call me if you want to talk."

"Okay."

He gave me a little smile then walked to the door. I laid back sighing looking at the ceiling. Grissom sat in a meeting hearing the talking around him, but his mind was on me. Catherine looked at him as Ecklie spoke noticing his far away stare. She poked him making him jump a little before listening again. As they walked down the hallway Catherine watched him.

"What's wrong?" She asked

He looked at her confused.

"Nothing."

"Gil, I know you. There is something going on."

"No, there is not." He said, walking past her. He closed his office door getting out his phone. He dialed my number walking over to his desk sitting in his chair.

When I didn't answer he sighed sitting back with his head against his chair closing his eyes. Later, I opened the front door seeing him standing before me.

"Why didn't you answer the phone?"

"You called?"

He came in as I closed the door.

"Yes, I did earlier. It worried me when you didn't answer the phone."

I watched him look me over coming closer.

"Are you all right?"

I nodded as he relaxed.

"I am going to make dinner."

"I better go home." He said

"You can eat before you go." I said

He looked at me then he slowly nodded. I made lasagna and he made the salad. We sat at the island eating. I looked at him as he ate a tomato. He looked at me as he chewed.

He stopped chewing to swallow looking at me.

"Sara?"

I looked back at my plate.

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

I sighed looking back at him.

"I just….was thinking….ah…nothing." I said, getting up taking my plate to the sink. Grissom watched me go then he wiped his mouth with a napkin before getting his plate walking over to me. I took his plate putting it in the sink. He pulled me to face him. I looked at him as he looked deeply into my eyes. I trembled as he put his hands on my waist.

"What are you thinking?" He asked, gently.

I looked at his lips then into his eyes. He closed his eyes as I kissed him. His lips moved along with mine as I moved my hands around his back. He tilted his head kissing me deeply. I wanted more, but I also needed air. He opened his eyes as I moved back breathing in and out looking at him scared and excited.

He looked at my lips then he kissed me again. His hands went around my back. My heart raced as he pulled me closer.

I moved back just an inch feeling his lips move along my cheek to my neck. I couldn't help but smile. He moved back so he could look at me. His hand touched my cheek.

"Sara."

"What?" I said

"Sara, you are an amazing woman."

"I am?"

"Yes."

I smiled a little as he looked at me. I opened my mouth to talk, but he put his finger on my lips to stop me. I closed them feeling his finger got over my lips. He silently looked at my mouth then he dropped his hand looking into my eyes.

"You….can stay." I said

He took a breath.

"I don't think that would be wise."

I nodded slowly.

He stepped back from me then walked out to the front door. Once outside he leaned against the front door rubbing his head. I walked out as the door closed behind him touching my mouth. I walked over touching the door then I dropped my hand staring at the door.

Grissom sat outside of my place for a while. He looked at the building going over what had happened. I tossed and turned in bed thinking about it. What had I done?

A knock at the door made me sit up. I quickly went out going to the door opening it seeing Grissom. He didn't speak as he came in pushing me out of the way as he shut the door kissing me. I kissed him back feeling my heart race. He picked me up walking to the bedroom. I laid back on the bed watching him come over me. We stared at each other in the dim light before I pulled him back to my lips.

The next morning I woke looking over seeing him lying with his back to me sleeping. I admired his smooth back. His spine stuck out some. Slowly I reached over touching his back. He moved stilling making me smile. I moved over placing kisses in different spots on his back.

He looked at his wrist watch then he moved to his back looking at me. I leaned my head against my hand looking at him.

"So what now?" I asked

He sighed looking up at the ceiling.

"I have to go home and change and you should sleep more."

"Grissom." I said

"What?" He asked

I touched his chest.

"I mean about….this."

He touched my hand looking at me.

"Sara, I….I need to think about this."

I sat up looking at him.

"I thought you had."

He sat up touching my cheek kissing me. I kissed him feeling him move back.

"Sara, I care about you very deeply, but you scare me. I can't control what I am feeling right now and that confuses me."

I nodded as he searched my eyes.

"I just need some time."

"All right."

He nodded touching my face a moment more, before getting up and dressing. I walked out watching him walk to the front door.

"When can I come back?" I asked

He looked at me.

"I'll let you come tonight. I'll talk to Brass."

"Thank you." I said

He nodded before leaving.

I entered the lab feeling like I was in a protective bubble. Everything was different. As I walked down the hallway Grissom and Catherine with a lot of people behind them were walking towards me. Grissom saw me stopping as everyone else went past.

"What's happening?" I asked

"Two buses crashed ten miles from here. I need you working." He said, handing me back my gun. "Get your case and let's go."

"Okay."

I ran to the locker room getting my things then I went out seeing Grissom open the passenger side door of his Tahoe. I got in seeing Greg and Nick sitting in the back. Grissom got in glancing at me before turning on the engine. Nick and Greg talked excitedly in the back as I sat looking outside. I looked at Grissom's profile as he drove. He looked over at me then looked at the road again. I took a breath looking out again.

We arrived and it was a gigantic mess. Body bags lined up in a row as some men from the morgue put new ones beside the others. I felt sick smelling the burnt flesh in the air. Catherine looked over at Grissom as he looked at her shaking his head.

We separated into groups. I worked with Nick looking around the buses. Taking a break I went up the hill as Grissom reached down with his hand. I looked at his hand taking it as he pulled me up.

"How is it?" He asked

"Horrible." I said

He nodded watching me walk away. He looked back over seeing Catherine looking at him. He walked away feeling her eyes.

Everyone finished the next day. We packed our things driving back to town. Nick asked if we could stop for breakfast. Grissom parked outside a diner watching Greg and him jump out to get a table. I looked at Grissom as he looked at me. My hand reached over taking hold of his coat pulling him towards me. Our lips met and he tilted his head as I pulled him closer. He moaned as I moved back. He smiled at me as I smiled knowing that we were well on our way.


End file.
